Recently, I have found the stirring in my soul to dive deep into the verses found in Titus 2:3-5.
As a young Christian wife, I remember reading these verses.
I read what they said, I thought I understood and went on with my day.
However, looking back I did not have an older woman to take me under her wing and teach me exactly how to live out Titus 2.
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. NIV
Now that I am raising my own children and have been married for 12 years, I find myself in the role of the “older woman” to teach the younger women around me exactly what Titus 2 is saying, and how it relates to today’s culture.
Let’s look at a few different versions of Titus 2: 3-5
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. KJV
In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, so they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered. HCSB
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. ESV
I have found it helpful in my own spiritual walk to look at these different verses and their meanings.
In order to learn how to live out Titus 2 in today’s culture, there are eight important things we must know how to do:
- To be sober.
- To love their husbands.
- To love their children.
- To be discreet.
- Keepers at home.
- Obedient to their husbands.
To Be Sober
In other versions, the words sober are related to not drinking much wine.
While yes, this is an important aspect of being sober, the word has a much richer meaning.
Sober also means sensible and steady.
Looking up the Greek word for sober, I find that it means to moderate, control, to hold one to their duty, to have sound judgment, and prudence.
As a Christian wife, I am not free to do as I want as I could when I was single.
My responsibilities lie as CEO of my home with my husband the owner.
In order to be sober, I need to be sure that I am meeting the needs of my husband, taking care of my children, and being the best manager in my home.
Being sober means planning ahead so that these needs can be met.
Meal planning, cleaning, training my children in the ways of the Lord, and making sure I have time and energy for my husband are all ways to be sober.
To Love Their Husbands
On Earth, my husband is my utmost priority.
He takes precedence over me, my children, and my extended family.
When a man knows that he is the top priority in his wife’s life, he will feel respected.
He will want to spend time with his wife and his family because his needs are met. He feels important in his home. He chooses to lead because he feels the support of his wife, his biggest fan.
The best way to make a man feel respected is to love him, and yes, this does mean sex.
As Christian wives, we are the only one that can provide this need to our spouses. No one else on Earth has that right.
It is so important that the sexual needs of our husbands are met, and met with a joyful spirit.
A disgruntled wife doing her “job” is not doing anyone a favor.
Loving our husbands is paramount to making our husbands feel respected.
When they know a warm smile, a good meal, and a warm bed are waiting for them at home, you will be surprised at how much time and attention your husband will provide.
To Love Their Children
Now this one can sometimes be easier than loving our husbands.
Children are for one very cute, and secondly, it is just in our DNA to love our children.
When a child knows that they are loved and accepted in their own home by their own parents, there are many things that child can achieve.
Security is one of the biggest needs of a child.
When we are loving our husbands and our children know that are marriages are safe, our children feel loved.
Now there are boundaries. Our husband’s needs come before our children’s wants. This means that we make sure we are not neglecting our children.
Trust me, I know. Babies and toddlers are needy. And there have been many times when I was not sure if I was going to have anything left to give to my husband after a particularly draining day. However, this is when the Holy Spirit would give me supernatural strength and energy to provide for my husband’s needs.
Our children should grow up knowing that their daddy is the leader of the home and the first earthly priority for their mom.
In addition, it is important that moms are including their children in day-to-day activities.
It has almost become a lost-art for mothers to pass on trades to their daughters. Sewing, embroidery, cross-stitching, quilting, and cooking were all trades passed down from one generation to the next.
Loving our children is much more than activities and gifts. It is T-I-M-E. It is the time we spend training and including them in our daily activities that will shape their future.
To Be Discreet
The definition of discreet:”careful in one’s speech or actions, especially in order to avoid causing offense or to gain an advantage.”
In other words, making sure your words and actions uplift those around you, instead of tearing one down.
I like to think of this as giving more than I take.
In all situations with my husband, children, family, and friends, I hope to give more than I take.
Discretion also means to not be out of place or embarrassing to your husband.
We want our husband to be proud of our speech and actions.
When you are an honorable woman, there is not much that a man will not do for you.
Men like to defend their honor, and that includes their woman.
Wise, gracious, and honor are words that we want our life to embody.
A woman that is discreet will not tear down her house like the woman described in Proverbs 14:1: “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
One of the most practical ways to be discreet is to not constantly question his decisions. Of course, you are allowed to have a discussion, and maybe sometimes even an argument, but once his decision is made, it is time to move on.
When we badger, belittle, nag, and complain, we are not choosing to be a discreet wife.
Instead, find ways to encourage, uplift, and love your man.
The definition of chaste: “without unnecessary ornamentation; simple or restrained.”
In other words, you need to be modest.
Of course, this means you dress with modesty.
This does not mean anti-fashion. It is ok to want to look nice and put together, as long as it does not become a preoccupation and more important than God.
In addition, we do not want other men or boys to have sinful thoughts because of the way we dress. A heart of modesty means that we dress out of love for our husband.
According to Today’s Christian Woman, “Whatever modesty means in the New Testament, it doesn’t seem to be primarily concerned with how much skin is showing. Instead, it’s about being appropriately dressed; dressing in a “well ordered” way. Perhaps it’s unpopular to say so, but dressing respectfully is the way I’ve come to think of it: not to draw undue attention, not in order to fade into the background but rather choosing to dress around others as I’d like to see them dress around me.” (Source)
Like so many things, modesty is not so much a matter of skin, but of the heart.
Modesty is also about our behavior and attitudes.
We need to be well-ordered and concerned about serving others, not preoccupied with how we look at all times.
Keepers at Home
This is a tricky one.
Before I even get started, I want to say that I know some women must work. It is not an option to stay home. For these women, when I talk about being at home, I am talking about the heart. If you have a heart for your home and your children, even when you cannot physically be there, then you are being a keeper at home.
For those who do stay home full time, being a keeper at home should come naturally. However, I have seen it so often that stay at home moms are rarely at home.
To be a keeper at home, you need to be home.
There are several goals for a keeper at home:
- Guide the home.
- Having the heart to create a haven.
- Watching over her children.
- Guard the home against outside influences.
- Be a helpmeet by helping her husband.
A keeper at home works hard to keep a home that is loving, peaceful, and God-centered.
Notice I did not say perfect. While it is important for the home to be clean and orderly, perfection is never the goal.
As a keeper at home, we should work hard to provide a place for our husband and children to feel safe, loved, and cared for.
A good woman makes the best of the situation.
If money is tight, she finds ways to save.
If her husband needs help, she helps.
Without complaining, she does what needs to be done as working for the Lord.
A good woman has a lot to offer her husband. She continues to learn so she can take care of her husband and children the best way possible.
While this Titus 2 woman certainly has a lot to offer, she also puts time into being this kind of godly woman.
Daily studying, prayer, and listening to the Holy Spirit helps her stay grounded.
I would love for you to take the time to join the Christian Wives Toolkit Challenge.
It is a 14-day challenge for Christian wives.