Sometimes this whole thing of motherhood is not at all what we expected.
I remember staring longingly at my growing belly, surrounded by my baby’s new crib, rocker, and adorable nursery. I dreamed of sweet moments staring into my son’s eyes, rocking him while he cooed and smiled at me.
Well…none of those expectations were met. The baby never even slept in that adorable nursery. In fact, he did not sleep at all. He preferred crying over cooing. And while the smiles did make it all worth it, I was EXHAUSTED.
Fast forward 10 years, 5 kids later, and I realize I have something to say to the mom who is completely exhausted, unsure, and overwhelmed.
Because I have been that mom and I survived and I know you will, too.
A Genuine Relationship with Jesus
This is where it all begins. Without this genuine relationship, there is no hope.
What do I mean by genuine?
A genuine relationship with Jesus means you come to Jesus with your mess and your past and your not so pretty attitude and you know that He accepts you.
For a genuine relationship, you must believe that Jesus not only accepts you but invites you.
Jesus wants all of you. Sometimes our heart may know this, but our head is not sure. We need to connect our heart and our head. Jesus wants a relationship with you. He wants you to come to Him now, even in the craziness of motherhood.
It is up to you to respond to this precious invitation, and believe that you are worthy to receive His grace.
Do not wait another minute. Know that Jesus wants all of you, even the ugly and messy parts, right here and right now.
Motherhood is all about transition periods.
Not only will we deal with parenting transitions, but transitions with family, work, church.
When change happens, I tend to want to hide until it is over.
This quote from Choosing Real has helped me to think of transitions differently:
I have a choice. Will I choose to embrace the change or fill my life with things that are not important?
Thinking of transitions as a choice has made all the difference.
Transitions also happen as we navigate the hills and valleys of life. Maybe you are stuck in a valley. This valley is a time in your life where there seems to be no movement and no change. This is when you need to remember that your story matters. Your story is important, even if it feels insignificant to you.
When uncomfortable and hard times come, I am learning to live in it and live into it, rather than hiding them.
I found that the uncomfortable, hard times in my life can be used to lift others up. I can be a companion to them when they are hurting or finding their way through a difficult time.
Looking at my problems through the lens of a loving Father reminds me that His plans are always good.
Speaking to Others in Truth
When you are overwhelmed and exhausted, sometimes your words do not come out the way you hoped.
You find yourself snapping easily and saying words that are just not out of love.
This is where speaking to others in truth is so important. Let your spouse know what you need. Let your family members know what you need.
They cannot read your mind, even though you really wish they could.
You can waste so much precious energy by holding onto hurt and grudges. It is much easier to just speak in truth. Let those around you know what you need and how you are feeling.
It frees up mental space and energy when we speak from a place of honesty and love.
This is the BIG one. Focus is everything.
To the tired mama, focus can easily be a thing of the past.
I get it. I remember days (ok, years) when I lost my focus.
Focus is how you spend your mental energy. If you spend all day thinking about your messy house, your colicky baby, your husband who has to work long hours, or your friend who is driving you crazy, you are going to be stuck.
Instead, focus on the here and now.
I love how Becky Pogue talks of this in Choosing Real:
I know that I spent way too much time spreading myself thin like confetti and missing the little moments that were right in front of me.
Focus on tiny baby steps that will lead you closer to Jesus and closer to a peaceful state of mind.
While you cannot “fix” a colicky baby, you can ask for help, you can find something that calms the stress, you can focus on your healthy baby, and you can focus on the light at the end of the tunnel (there is one I promise!)
If you walk away with one thing, please let it be that you will be mindful of your focus. Focus on the big picture and do not get caught up in the tiny irritations of one day.
Celebrate the Every Day
Sometimes I wish my story was bigger. I would like to have a big mountaintop faith story to tell. But my story is important, no matter how little it is.
The fact that you woke up this morning and are still breathing means God wants your story to continue.
Tired moms have to learn to celebrate the every day.
To reach out and embrace each day with little ones underfoot brings such joy.
Dance, sing, laugh, play, run, jump, bake…not just on happy days, not just on big days, but every day.
You can spend so much time waiting for the next thing or tomorrow that you miss what is standing right in front of you. You will miss the little moments happening today if you are always waiting for the big moments of tomorrow.
I have learned over my years of motherhood that I cannot let the routine or the to-do list be my God. I have to respond to daily life. I have to celebrate the every day.
Rest is Not Just Sleep
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
As a mom, sleep is a commodity. It is something we pray for, dream of, and long to have more of.
But I am learning that rest is not just sleep. Rest is a state of mind. Rest is a state of peace.
Rest is when you are confident in your role as a Christian, wife, and mother.
I find rest when I embrace these roles with all their difficulty and work.
A restful spirit means I am resting in my role as a Christian, wife, and mother because I know that I am safe in the arms of my Savior.
Being filled up by Jesus in the middle of my busyness times as a mother allows me to hold onto what is the most important.
If you want to know more about Choosing Real and finding an authentic faith in the middle of the busy years of motherhood, I highly recommend you grab this book.
Choosing Real is a lifestyle for mothers, and I know you will not look back once you start on your journey to real.
I would be honored for you to join our community of mothers…Click the image below!