Had we been in the times of Queen Victoria, the modest dressing would not be such an uphill climb. For ladies, you have full skirts reaching almost the ground and supported with many petticoats. Plus, women always wear a shawl on top of all that when they go out. It was elegance at its finest, perhaps a reflection of how majestic the strong-willed queen who was married built the British Empire. It was during these times that Arthur Conan Doyle and Charles Dickens flourished along with the Industrial Age.
We can hardly find those long dresses these days except perhaps in pictures of the past. Instead, what appeals to youth today all around the world are as provocative as the next Hollywood A-lister could make it. With photos of world-renowned celebrities plastered all over the internet, it’s a race of who wears the least the best. And that sexy glamour sells.
Indeed, making your daughter dress modestly can be a tall order in these times. Put in the mix her closest friends and confidantes and it’s bound to be a tug-of-war.
Lucky for you, there are ways you can actually have your young teen dress appropriately. Call them your timely workarounds. What’s important to bear in mind, however, is that the struggle to dress modestly starts not with your daughter, but with you first and foremost.
Talk About Modesty as Essential
It’s really hard to talk about modesty when you have Gigi Hadid, Jenifer Lopez, and Kim Kardashian trending as they grace the internet’s attention with their super-skimpy attires and barely-there swimsuits. You may feel like having second thoughts.
But if there has to be someone to draw the line, then it would be better you take on that responsibility. If not, someone else who may value what’s in over what’s right could be stuffing the wrong things into your daughter’s head.
To start, provide an explanation of why modesty in what to wear is essential to your daughter. Children need a framework to understand things and why they think it’s best. Explain why provocative dressing is inappropriate in a calm manner. That should allow him to internalize things.
Tell her that overly-revealing clothing could attract the wrong kind of other people’s attention and even criminals. Teach her to regard clothing as not just body wear but an attitude. Thus, we must choose clothing that reflects our beliefs.
Set Your Example
In this regard, there may not be a better way to convince your child than by modeling it all yourself. Dress appropriately. By doing so, you show them that you can still be stylish even when you dress in modest clothes. Instead of a plunging neckline or highly suggestive clothes, wear a classy yet elegant dress when you go out with your hubby.
When you model what dress is best, your kids are bound to take a cue from you and do the same. Your behavior becomes their golden example to follow. By the same token if you don’t value modesty and go out with suggestive clothing, then it’s bound to be a struggle teaching your daughter not to do the same.
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Shop Together
Even if your daughter is set on wearing modest clothes, sourcing then is another thing. As you are wont to find, there are far lesser stores that carry modest dressing as a target product. Influenced by today’s trends, many stores online and offline are feeding the market with all sorts of suggestive wear. So don’t just give your daughter money to do the shopping herself together with friends. Instead, choose to be with her to the shops.
When you shop with your daughter, you strengthen her resolve. So do find modest wear to buy even when you have to do a lot more stores than usual. A good way to save time is to do your research online. Learn which stores are offering good options.
Some key areas you should be checking are:
- Length of skirt
- Length of short
- Tightness
- Neckline
- Images
- Wordings
Setting guidelines while she is young is best. That way she knows what standards are best when she grows older.
Say No
It’s hard but you will have to say “No” to your daughter every once in a while. When what’s in front of her seems too hard to pass up but is actually too low for your standards, you should be able to tell her to not pursue it. Acknowledge how she feels and tell her it’s not easy.
She could be hurting but deep down she knows that rules need to be set. And that you are actually helping her be seen in public the right way.
