When a house is regularly used, it becomes prone to wear and tear. This is why home maintenance is important to make sure that your house runs efficiently and it does not break down.
There are two ways to properly maintain a home. One is to make sure that all systems and parts of the house are functioning properly. The other one is to make sure that your relationship at home is at a healthy level.
Physical home maintenance
Doing regular maintenance of your home saves you money. Regularly cleaning your air conditioning for example prevents you from having to shell out a couple of bucks from buying a new one.
Home maintenance can also increase your home’s value. If you have ensured that all your electrical wirings and appliances are fully working at home, you can sell your house at a higher value than a poorly maintained home. If a home inspection report finds out that you have a lot of problems in your house, potential buyers may ask for a decrease in the price of the house since they have to do some repairs themselves.
Home maintenance may also include home improvements; this is a sure-fire way to increase your home’s value. One way to do that is through home remodeling.
According to the National Association of Home Builders, remodeling is done by homeowners who want to add more space, upgrade cabinetry or fixtures, fit the homeowner’s lifestyle better, and increase the resale value of the home. The Washington Post agrees that remodeling should be treated as an investment.
Through these home improvements, you do not only add to the appeal for your home and increase its value; you also make it a more enjoyable space for everyone at home.
Internal home maintenance
Just as much as you need time and effort in maintaining your physical home, you also have to pay attention to what’s going on internally. You must have a healthy relationship with everyone you’re sharing a space with; not having such can be toxic.
Toxic relationships are said to cause depression, anxiety, and feeling of worthlessness and helplessness. Being in one can be stressful; stress shortens a person’s life span. Studies show that mental stress is related to sudden changes in heart rate and rhythm, causing sudden death.
Toxic relationships are not just found between couples but among family members as well. We call this a dysfunctional family relationship. Some patterns of this kind of relationship include:
1. Parents with addictions like alcohol or gambling
2. Parents physically and verbally abuse children
3. Parents exploit their children by treating them as possessions and using them to treat their physical and emotional needs
4. Parents exert too much control over children; asking children to comply with rules without any flexibility on a child’s opinion
These are some extreme cases of a dysfunctional family relationship, but there may be little things that you may be doing, contributing to a toxic family relationship. Little things such as forcing children to take sides when parents argue or discounting a partner or a child’s feelings contribute to a dysfunctional relationship.
Recognizing that something is wrong with your family dynamics is needed to fix the problem. Just like when fixing parts of a house, you identify if something is leaking so that you can ask the plumber to fix it.
Each family member can be a plumber in their own home. All it takes is initiative and the strength to recognize that something needs fixing.
Fixing it
If you are a grown-up child of a dysfunctional or toxic parent, you must take the lead. The first step is to identify the difficult experiences you had and make a list of the things you want to change. On the list, pick the item that you think can be easily changed and start practicing it. Start small, and eventually, you will see things progressing.
Counseling can also be a great help for families who have a toxic relationship. Sometimes, an outside perspective is good because they can see things objectively. In the process, it is also important to keep in mind that nobody is perfect; your family isn’t, too. You have to make room for each other’s mistakes and give space for forgiveness.
Giving space is key here. Being together all the time in one home can be very toxic for some, and some space to breathe can be helpful. It also refers to giving space in terms of each other’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Although you are part of one family, recognize that you are also different individuals with different thought processes; respect is all it takes to avoid disagreements.
